Remember a few weeks ago (could’ve been my last post or even a FB status) when I was struggling with finding the correlation between obedience and blessings? Well, the Lord has been revealing Himself in more ways than I could even imagine…
As many of you know, I have been underemployed for quite some time now. The hours at the hospital were very few and far between. However, I am Blessed to live at Shepherd’s Village, a Christ-Centered Residential Ministry for Single parents, which allowed me to work to pay for my rent. Although a huge Blessing, this wasn’t quite making due because I needed more hours in order to pay all my bills and since Shepherd’s Village is a not for profit, the money being used to pay me could’ve gone to more needed things.
In addition to not being able to pay my bills, Christmas was looking to be non-existent in our home. I know people will say that it’s not about the gifts under the tree…but come on, do you really live that way? Not many of us do and I can admit that not having any gifts was going to be difficult. Not only for Jake, but for me as well.
Lastly, my underemployment was affecting my relationships. Friends wouldn’t invite me places because they knew if it required money, I wouldn’t be able to go. This may sound harsh, but having to say “no, thanks” all the time, not only hurts you, but it hurts your friends because they don’t have the means to be able to include you (and they know me well enough to know that I would say no anyways). It also affected my already rough relationship with Jake. The stress of not having money and always saying “we don’t have the money for that” can bear down on any relationship. Most importantly, my relationship with the Lord was affected. I was so busy trying to “work things out”, I wasn’t relying on Him as much.
Well, the solution for many people would be: find a job, Jen! I thought the same thing, but the more I looked, the more doors were shut in my face. I wasn’t getting any interviews which was a Blessing in disguise because in an interview when they asked me where do you see yourself in 1 year, I couldn’t very well say…Guatemala! So, finding a job or finding anyone who would hire someone for 6 months is pretty much impossible…for me! This is when it starts getting good…
In my desperation for a job, I asked a group of missionaries from Indian Rocks I have been meeting every month with to pray for me. I sent them my resume and asked if anyone knew of anything, I would greatly appreciate it. Within a few days, I got an email from a friend of the leaders of the group. He said he had some connections and would do his best to find me a job. (I had my very own personal head hunter.)
He reached out to a few of his connections, let them know my situation and background and within a week, I had 2 interviews. I got a job offer from the first interview I went on and the second was good, but the hours weren’t many. I gave my “notice” to Shepherd’s Village and the Monday after Christmas, I started working full-time.
While all of this was going on, Jake and I (and the other Shepherd’s Village residents) were being showered with Christmas gifts from local businesses, church groups and private donors. We actually had some pretty great gifts under our tree!
Fast forward to today: I just completed my second week of work and received my first paycheck and I can’t tell you how amazing it is to make a budget and know that you will have money to execute it.
How does this answer my question about the correlation between obedience and Blessings? Well, the Lord showed up this past month in an Abundance! He provided a job, Christmas presents even a brand new laptop…and what have I done? Absolutely nothing! Nothing at all! During this time when I should’ve been spending lots of time in prayer or growing closer to Him, I was numb. I wasn’t even worrying. I knew He would provide, but even if He wanted to share with me how He was going to do it, I wasn’t open to hearing Him.
His Blessings have NOTHING to do with our obedience! He CHOOSES to Bless us because He LOVES us!! We are HIS children and He finds joy in Blessing His children!! I thought I knew this, but I really had no idea!! We, truly serve an AWESOME God!! All Glory and Praise to the Only One!
P.S. I haven’t been online the past couple of weeks for a few reasons: 1. My Macbook screen decided to only work at a 15° angle which becomes very difficult to type. 2. The internet only works when you pay the bill and when your money is limited, you direct it to more important things, internet wasn’t one of them. 3. (But most importantly) The Lord didn’t want me online. He knew I would be blogging and FBing about everything that was going on and He wanted to limit my resources. He wanted me to share my ups and downs with Him and Him alone. Now, that I’ve somewhat “gotten” it, He is allowing me to share it all with you! 🙂