I could say that on November 12, 1998 at 9:11am was when my life changed, but it was before that….
On a February night in 1998, I remember looking at a pregnancy test in disbelief. It said I was pregnant. I was 20 years old, far away from my family and completely numb. I was going to be a mother. There was a baby growing inside of me….I bawled! Jake’s dad was quite excited and “proud” of himself (must be a man thing). I called a friend over and she was also super excited…I was still in disbelief. So much so, I took another test in the morning just to be sure…It was positive again.
The next 9 months were difficult. I went from 108lbs to 98lbs because I couldn’t hold anything down for the first 6 months. When I was able to eat, I gained more weight than I have ever gained. I had become so used to having a headache that I didn’t know I had it the entire pregnancy until after I gave birth and it went away. My body was not my own.
Giving birth was a process, to say the least. My midwife was so sick of me she agreed to induce me the day before my due date. It worked out perfectly because my water broke just a few hours after getting to the hospital and the labor pretty much progressed on its own. The next morning, I was so convinced I was going to have a C-Section, it took the nurses about 20 minutes to convince I needed to push.
A few minutes after that, the joy of my life came into the world.
This beautiful joyous boy has given me life beyond compare. This perfect gift from God has shown me just how much my Heavenly Father loves me. It is an act of grace to be chosen to be a mother. I don’t know why the Father chose me. I still often look at Jake and wonder why me?
He could have so much more than I could ever offer him, but then the Lord reminds me that He not only chose me to His daughter and chose Jake to be His son, but He chose me to be Jake’s mother. Before I was even born, it was written that Jake was to be mine. That thought truly amazes and humbles me; that I have been entrusted to raise an amazing man of God…no doubt he WILL BE an amazing man of God.
Jake was chosen just for me and I am honored to be called his mother!
Happy 13th Birthday, Bubbies!!